What do you picture when you think about “self care?” Perhaps you see a claw foot bath tub, lined with flickering candles, enticing you to sink into deep, sudsy water. Maybe it’s a mountain top meditation retreat, with goats bleating peacefully in the background. Or a crackling fireplace and mounds of books. Or a bustling coffee shop serving up a side of smooth jazz. Or a yoga studio filled with succulents.

I’ll bet you don’t think of a mom, sitting alone in a van, eating a cherry pie with her bare hands. 

That’s me, by the way. I’m that mom.

Yes, self care, as trendy as it is, isn’t always glamorous. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. Sometimes, it’s downright embarrassing. Think Oreos eaten on the toilet with the door locked. A guilty-pleasure tv marathon after the kids are asleep. A two dollar sheet mask that makes you look like a demented unicorn. A good five minute sob session in the closet. A prayer whispered between silent screams of frustration.

The stolen moments that we mothers take to briefly recharge our corroding batteries are often rushed and messy. We don’t always have the time and money for spa days and hobby sessions, not that we don’t want them. We might not have the energy to get up early for a workout or Bible study, especially after getting up through the night with teething babies. We may not be able to find reliable babysitters for a date night, though we’re dying to get out of the house. 

We all need self care, but we don’t always get the kind we dream about and deserve. If you do have the time, energy, and support to engage in the kind of self care that leaves you refreshed and fulfilled, that’s wonderful! If you don’t, that’s okay. Well, maybe not okay, but it’s certainly not a moral failing on your part. That’s just a part of this imperfect life. We snatch up whatever fleeting moments we get. These moments, though a bit unflattering, provide the little bright spots we need to get through the week (or day, or hour) with our sanity somewhat still intact. So listen to that true crime podcast in your sweatpants. Eat a pie in a Walmart parking lot. Self care doesn’t need to be picture perfect. It’s messy, and so are we.

What is your favorite messy way to sneak in some self care?